Worry needed to change

A byproduct of a life saturated by medical trauma is worry. Very often I started my sentences with, “I’m worried about”. Until the summer after Michael’s death when doubt tried to consume me, I knew my worry had to change.

Worry and anxiety teamed up in my life at a time when I was preparing for a short trip to Vegas with a couple of friends. Bald from chemotherapy, bloated from cancer medications, feeling barely beautiful I still said yes to the trip. Despite everything I was bound and determined to find fun again, honoring the king of fun, my son Michael.

Out of nowhere, (actually it never really is) I started to worry about traveling without my family. What if something happened to them while I was away or what if something happened to me? Worry took over. Of course, anxiety came too and made me doubt my decision to take this trip. It peaked the day I had to leave Target without purchasing the trip items on my list because my enemies, anxiety and worry convinced me something bad was going to happen if I go on this vacation.

Proud to say, worry and fear gained no strides that week. Due to the encouragement and prayerful support of family and friends I took that trip to Vegas. I enjoyed a relaxing, worry free couple of days and realized I had to change my relationship with worry.

Through books and broadcasts I searched for practical simple steps to get rid of my worrying ways. I learned to change how often I used the word worry, giving it less verbal power so worry got replaced by concern. I found that a simple change to the word covered my worry thoughts with a more accurate reality.

As I let worry go, in word and thought admitting worry has no place here, spiritual grace took over, eliminating worry as the whispered lie that it is. The truth is we can’t change any outcome with worry. It’s a waste of energy. However, putting energy into seeking the truth reveals how to really fight a personal war against worry.

My work continues at kicking out negative ways of thinking, holding on to only truthful thoughts and being more selective in the words I speak out; standing firm in hope and faith. There is a difference in saying I’m concerned, not worried.

Do you need to change some words or thoughts that challenge the peace and calm of your day?
Believe it’s possible to find rest among the burdens in life. There you find fun again.

Don’t worry, be happy and Be The Change!

Different changes

Change is in full view right now with leaf colors of orange, red and yellow blazing the Minnesota landscape. Fall, without question, is my favorite season. Modifications to my outer jacket selection of jean to lined leather, hint I might also need to modify my attitude as I shift from summer relaxed to winter hassles. My awe in the changing fall exterior, beckons an interior review.

The seasonal change into winter is tough for me and seems to be getting worse the older I become. I love summer. The long bright days, lazy lake vacations and ice cream cones on a hot summer night are a few of my favorites. I don’t like winter. The bare trees, cold temperatures and white flakes (I can’t say the four letter word yet), generates a very different temperament in my day.

A friend said to me recently, “I’m trying to mold into the wood work and you’re trying to jump out of it!" After a hearty laugh we agreed that statement was very true. As friends we share common bonds, but have many differences too. Together we weather lots of changes occurring in varied seasons of our lives. Most often, it’s our differences that offer the biggest gifts in friendship and speak into the full circle of that relationship. Very much like summer and winter.

Summer and winter share the title of seasons, which is one thing they have in common but each individual season and its changes are very different. Each one is unique in its purpose and although different, they’re dependent on each other. A hot dry summer leads to a particular kind of winter and the cycle continues.

A similar analogy applies to friends. Most of them are very different, each with their own unique purposes. Yet, year after year among the changes, friends depend on each other; trust in each others process, offering stability to the uncertainty of change and the cycle of friendship goes on.

Unlike the relationship of one season to other, friends have the ability to love us through the changes. Some of these changes are exciting like a sunny summer day, easy to love, while others are stressful like a cold winter storm, and requiring a deeper love and appreciation.

I’ve decided to change my winter attitude. Beginning today, I’m looking forward to new exciting ways to love winter and renew my respect for what it does for the other seasons. The same way my friends love me, respect my many changes and my “out of the wood work behavior”; unconditionally and without judgment.

Everything is connected together, through every season, to Be The Change.