Friday, October 28, 2011

Worry needed to change

A byproduct of a life saturated by medical trauma is worry. Very often I started my sentences with, “I’m worried about”. Until the summer after Michael’s death when doubt tried to consume me, I knew my worry had to change.

Worry and anxiety teamed up in my life at a time when I was preparing for a short trip to Vegas with a couple of friends. Bald from chemotherapy, bloated from cancer medications, feeling barely beautiful I still said yes to the trip. Despite everything I was bound and determined to find fun again, honoring the king of fun, my son Michael.

Out of nowhere, (actually it never really is) I started to worry about traveling without my family. What if something happened to them while I was away or what if something happened to me? Worry took over. Of course, anxiety came too and made me doubt my decision to take this trip. It peaked the day I had to leave Target without purchasing the trip items on my list because my enemies, anxiety and worry convinced me something bad was going to happen if I go on this vacation.

Proud to say, worry and fear gained no strides that week. Due to the encouragement and prayerful support of family and friends I took that trip to Vegas. I enjoyed a relaxing, worry free couple of days and realized I had to change my relationship with worry.

Through books and broadcasts I searched for practical simple steps to get rid of my worrying ways. I learned to change how often I used the word worry, giving it less verbal power so worry got replaced by concern. I found that a simple change to the word covered my worry thoughts with a more accurate reality.

As I let worry go, in word and thought admitting worry has no place here, spiritual grace took over, eliminating worry as the whispered lie that it is. The truth is we can’t change any outcome with worry. It’s a waste of energy. However, putting energy into seeking the truth reveals how to really fight a personal war against worry.

My work continues at kicking out negative ways of thinking, holding on to only truthful thoughts and being more selective in the words I speak out; standing firm in hope and faith. There is a difference in saying I’m concerned, not worried.

Do you need to change some words or thoughts that challenge the peace and calm of your day?
Believe it’s possible to find rest among the burdens in life. There you find fun again.

Don’t worry, be happy and Be The Change!

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