Live in abundance

I live in abundance. In spite of a wavering economy, I find the means to go where I want and purchase the things I desire to have. I enjoy the everyday comforts of warm clothes in the closet and a house with the thermostat turned on. These facts may seem mundane, but are humbling when I hear the stories about people living in conditions much different than this. Places right here in Minnesota where abundance is often viewed but also includes many places where the word would rarely be applicable.

With the Thanksgiving season coming to a close and another even richer season approaches, I’m abundantly grateful for a multitude of things in my life. It’s a gratitude that goes beyond my worldly processions, in an abundance of family and friends, which consistently show me love and kindness. It’s a depth of gratitude, which flows from the medical situations that changed me and my family.

Just recently, I found myself abundant in random acts of kindness after being thrust back into a caregiver role due to my husband’s knee injury. He was struggling with an over abundance of pain following an arthroscopic knee procedure. The typical recovery was complicated and delayed by other issues. I was reminded how fortunate I am to not only have caring family and friends but extremely fortunate to have immediate healthcare relief. We have medical care that’s abundant in convenient locations complete with urgent response to patients and families in need of help. Many are not that fortunate.

It’s been said that in some areas of the world, if you have clothes to wear and food to eat you are considered fortunate and labeled rich. That statement often runs through my mind. I thought about it a few times during my husband's knee crisis. I think about it as I prepare my weekly grocery list. It comes to mind as I make my Christmas shopping list. From events to lists I see fortunate and rich defined in the many ways I'm confident I will always have enough. The challenge is to be content with the minimum and give from the abundance to others who won’t have enough.

Greatest abundance lies in what isn’t tangible. A quote by Johannes A. Gaertner says, “To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” Patients, especially children suffering chronic or rare disease have a way of giving us a glimpse of heaven in their earthly life and exhibit a sense of gratitude not easily explained. A closer view almost always displays an abundance of gifts, gleaned from pain and suffering, which are not tangible. They are life lessons gifted to us and put value in seeking abundance outside of material things.

This season I hope to take a broader view and reach out to those who silently suffer, yet allow us to see a piece of heaven here on earth. This year, I’m adding to my wish list, the needs of those who lack. I want to give from my abundance, live gratefully and demonstrate gratitude in action.

Join me and Be The Change our world is waiting for.

BTC at U of M

I want to operate in sheer honesty as CEXO (Chief Experience Officer) of the Be The Change campaign. For that reason, I want to disclose my love-hate relationship with the University of Minnesota (U of M) Hospital and Clinics. My individual relationship with the U of M has two sides, both humanly connected but medically far apart, creating a complicated and emotional dynamic housed internally by me.

One side of me loves the fact I’m a Minnesota patient and family member that lives less than sixty minutes (based on unpredictable traffic) from a cutting edge healthcare campus. That includes a highly regarded learning environment, which one day, may educate the medical student who will find the cure to cancer or a rare disease like SIOD.

On the flip side, I hate the fact my son Michael and others like him suffer horrible diseases there. Among hope and possibility abundant throughout the U of M campus, looms the opposite in despair and uncalculated fear. To this day, when I enter the East Bank, I need to pause, take a deep breath and alert my commitment in the fight ahead, warring against the dark memories about to torment me.

Faithfully, I’m reminded of the change maker waiting in the shadows of that concrete jungle, my angel Michael. His legacies lead me back to the U of M with a different three ring binder these days labeled Be The Change. Back to where it was whispered to us years ago. Steps that are taken as testimony to Michael’s courage, I walk back into the pain and press past the fear, towards the change waiting on the other side of all that fear.

Last spring, in a changed capacity, I returned to the University of Minnesota, sharing our story with a group of nursing students and graduating nurse practitioners. I spoke about the little boy with a big disease who changed me, our family, and possibly a few healthcare providers at the U of M. I cited specific examples how medical and human experiences impacted Michael and our family not just in his life as a patient but in his whole life outside of the disease, beyond the concrete jungles.

I shared my vision for the Be The Change campaign stating, Be The Change isn’t just me or Michael. It’s us together. It’s the patient, family and provider together sharing healthcare responsibility in an enhanced relationship as partners, inside and outside the medical arena. A partnership where each of our perspectives is valued, and each of our experiences provides an expertise that’s utilized to its full potential.

A new relationship was created for me at the U of M Center for Children with Special Health Care Needs, in honor of Michael’s Be the Change legacy. It’s a healthcare team demonstrating patient family centered care beyond words. Ways WE can all Be The Change. Click here to view the Be The Change presentation at the U of M.

Now I’m familiar with another outstanding team of healthcare providers and educators at the University of Minnesota Hospital and Clinics. It was well worth the deep breathes I had to take to get there. I can honestly say, the love side of my relationship with the U of M has increased and will continue to Be The Change.

Worry needed to change

A byproduct of a life saturated by medical trauma is worry. Very often I started my sentences with, “I’m worried about”. Until the summer after Michael’s death when doubt tried to consume me, I knew my worry had to change.

Worry and anxiety teamed up in my life at a time when I was preparing for a short trip to Vegas with a couple of friends. Bald from chemotherapy, bloated from cancer medications, feeling barely beautiful I still said yes to the trip. Despite everything I was bound and determined to find fun again, honoring the king of fun, my son Michael.

Out of nowhere, (actually it never really is) I started to worry about traveling without my family. What if something happened to them while I was away or what if something happened to me? Worry took over. Of course, anxiety came too and made me doubt my decision to take this trip. It peaked the day I had to leave Target without purchasing the trip items on my list because my enemies, anxiety and worry convinced me something bad was going to happen if I go on this vacation.

Proud to say, worry and fear gained no strides that week. Due to the encouragement and prayerful support of family and friends I took that trip to Vegas. I enjoyed a relaxing, worry free couple of days and realized I had to change my relationship with worry.

Through books and broadcasts I searched for practical simple steps to get rid of my worrying ways. I learned to change how often I used the word worry, giving it less verbal power so worry got replaced by concern. I found that a simple change to the word covered my worry thoughts with a more accurate reality.

As I let worry go, in word and thought admitting worry has no place here, spiritual grace took over, eliminating worry as the whispered lie that it is. The truth is we can’t change any outcome with worry. It’s a waste of energy. However, putting energy into seeking the truth reveals how to really fight a personal war against worry.

My work continues at kicking out negative ways of thinking, holding on to only truthful thoughts and being more selective in the words I speak out; standing firm in hope and faith. There is a difference in saying I’m concerned, not worried.

Do you need to change some words or thoughts that challenge the peace and calm of your day?
Believe it’s possible to find rest among the burdens in life. There you find fun again.

Don’t worry, be happy and Be The Change!

Different changes

Change is in full view right now with leaf colors of orange, red and yellow blazing the Minnesota landscape. Fall, without question, is my favorite season. Modifications to my outer jacket selection of jean to lined leather, hint I might also need to modify my attitude as I shift from summer relaxed to winter hassles. My awe in the changing fall exterior, beckons an interior review.

The seasonal change into winter is tough for me and seems to be getting worse the older I become. I love summer. The long bright days, lazy lake vacations and ice cream cones on a hot summer night are a few of my favorites. I don’t like winter. The bare trees, cold temperatures and white flakes (I can’t say the four letter word yet), generates a very different temperament in my day.

A friend said to me recently, “I’m trying to mold into the wood work and you’re trying to jump out of it!" After a hearty laugh we agreed that statement was very true. As friends we share common bonds, but have many differences too. Together we weather lots of changes occurring in varied seasons of our lives. Most often, it’s our differences that offer the biggest gifts in friendship and speak into the full circle of that relationship. Very much like summer and winter.

Summer and winter share the title of seasons, which is one thing they have in common but each individual season and its changes are very different. Each one is unique in its purpose and although different, they’re dependent on each other. A hot dry summer leads to a particular kind of winter and the cycle continues.

A similar analogy applies to friends. Most of them are very different, each with their own unique purposes. Yet, year after year among the changes, friends depend on each other; trust in each others process, offering stability to the uncertainty of change and the cycle of friendship goes on.

Unlike the relationship of one season to other, friends have the ability to love us through the changes. Some of these changes are exciting like a sunny summer day, easy to love, while others are stressful like a cold winter storm, and requiring a deeper love and appreciation.

I’ve decided to change my winter attitude. Beginning today, I’m looking forward to new exciting ways to love winter and renew my respect for what it does for the other seasons. The same way my friends love me, respect my many changes and my “out of the wood work behavior”; unconditionally and without judgment.

Everything is connected together, through every season, to Be The Change.

Ask some questions

I’ve always been the kind of person who asks lots of questions. Sometimes I think people avoid me in fear of being asked too many questions. My family often warns others to anticipate Theresa's question and answer series.

Asking questions is a part of my personality, in my DNA. For me, questions provide a verbal connection to my desire to go deeper and discuss something not readily exchanged.

Last Saturday, I rode with the New Prague Chief of Police in the lead cop car of my hometown parade during the annual Dozinky Festival. Afterwards, a few people questioned how that distinct privilege came my way. My answer was simple; I asked him if I could. The truth is I had been asking him for several years, but that’s another story.

There’s a wide range of opportunities lost mainly because we don’t ask enough questions. No doubt, asking questions involves a variety of risks such as rejection, judgment, and exposure. There are times when questions require patience or asking more than once. Yet overall the outcome almost always outweighs any risk or challenge involved. Even if a desired outcome isn’t obtained, the experience of asking lends confidence to the next question waiting to be asked.

My son Michael use to ask lots of questions. He would fire one question after the other, sometimes not waiting for the answers. I remember driving to appointments and he would ask random questions about the unknown people he saw on the street. I guess there is no reason to question who he got that personality trait from.

Asking questions is a key component to good relationships. Whether it’s a personal, professional, or healthcare relationship we need to overcome fear and trepidation in asking questions, especially ones that have never been asked before. You never know when one question might lead to a new discovery or change the definition of your relationship.

Ask yourself, do you want to be the person standing on the sidelines, giving into fear or the person who is bold, asking questions regardless of the risks, ready to Be The Change?

That’s a great question!

New blog design debuts today!

Welcome to my newly revamped personal blog. I know it's been long overdue, however I wanted to be confident that the new look and feel of this site not only reflected the purpose of my writing but also served as a tie to my campaign, Be The Change (BTC).

My personal blog will continue to house my reflections, while the newly enhanced BTC website will serve as the home of things BTC-related. While I am intricately connected to BTC, I want to make the distinction between my role as a speaker and patient family consultant in the healthcare environment and the BTC campaign, which is for everyone.

Thank you for your support as I continue to develop new partnerships, new relationships and new ways for all of us to BTC.

Ways you can stay connected:

• Follow this blog
• View the Be The Change website
• Become a fan of BTC on Facebook
• Coming soon: BTC on Twitter!
  

Be a hero, be a donor!

Barely thirteen years old, giving a thumbs up in the recovery room, was my son Michael. Just minutes before, he received a gift unlike any other. A healthy kidney donated to him by his “Auntie Mar.” Cemented in memory isn’t only the view of Michael and his raised thumb. It’s also the selfless acts by several who chose to make a difference.

There was standing room only at the University of Minnesota’s surgical waiting room that hopeful day in August 2004. Chairs and couches filled to capacity physically, emotionally and spiritually by family and friends. Each one waiting for the kidney transplant to be done, to hear it was successful and that finally kidney dialysis would be over.

Michael and many warriors fought hard to get to transplant day. Gallantly they shared in failure and success, all which led them to the perfect scenario. Each one anointed with divine purpose in appointed roles important to the process. Two postponed surgical dates and a near death dialysis experience complicated the way but steeled our resolve. Ultimately, one aunt made room for the other, both willing to be kidney donors, both heroes. One enduring the process of donor elimination as the other became Michael’s donor perfect match.

August 30, 2004 was definitely a thumbs-up day. We got the news we anxiously waited to hear. The kidney transplant was a complete success. Seven years later, job well done still echoes in the spirit of the gifts exchanged. Not only on that special day but in the days that preceded and followed. Heroic examples of ordinary people willing to Be The Change in extraordinary ways that gave all of us a gift.

According to Life Source, a non-profit organization located in St Paul Minnesota, nearly 109,000 people are waiting for organ donation and the number grows each day. Registering to be a donor is easy and can be done right now, online. Your decision to be a donor can potentially save up to sixty lives. You can give a gift.

Leave a legacy similar to Michael and his two aunts. You can be the hero someone is waiting for. You can Be The Change!

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about organ donation.